Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Pondering R/S: What (do you think) is a good ';first rule'; (or maxim) about giving advice?

SHOOT FROM THE HIP!Pondering R/S: What (do you think) is a good ';first rule'; (or maxim) about giving advice?
That you shouldn't really, I think we only learn from our own mistakes. There is a line in one of my favourite songs that goes something like this: Advice is a way of dishing up the past, dusting it off, painting over the ugly parts and dispensing it for more than it is worth.


Doesn't stop me though :-) ((((Uncle))))Pondering R/S: What (do you think) is a good ';first rule'; (or maxim) about giving advice?
Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. Then, when you criticize them, you are a mile away and you have their shoes!





I think the first rule is: be calm, patient and look at the response of the person you're talking to the whole time. People appreciate advice as long as it's clear you're willing to listen to and understand their response. Unfortunately online it's hard to show that attitude.
try to not judge ,(unless its deserved obviously)


instead of judging when you hear a persons problems, life challenges , expereinces, you think about it and answer it as if it was soemone else answering a q you asked





and


think about it, really think about it


if its an important problem, why woudl you go in and mess with soemones life just because your bored


you KNOW you woudlnt and COULDNT do it in 'real life' so dont frigging do it here
Do what people who ';talk to God'; do.





1. Figure out what it is you really want to do.





2. Ask God for advice





3. Make sure he agrees with you and if not, pretend you didn't hear him.





Variation:





1. Find out what the person really wants to do





2. Tell them to do that





3. Gain a reputation for incredible wisdom
Don't hate, but debate


and don't become irate


respect


each sect


never helps to just berate


inflate ballons


they swoon over


these clouds, you see


that seem so free


to me, to me, of what i see


that sky is very blue


it's true, just hear and near,


assumed a room in which it sings,


to you
Don't tell... guide. A person, is more likely to heed good advice if they are simply steered or guided in the right direction, and shown and come to the best conclusion on their own...





Telling people what to do or what is best, is hit or miss.
don't offer what is not asked of you





...unless, of course, the immediate proximity of danger necessitates your intervention.





For instance, ';Watch out for that bus!!'; would be a good example of that.
Try being open minded about things. Not everyone thinks the same way you do or has the same belief system. So me putting the Quran into every explanation would not work for someone who is an atheist or a Jew, etc.
Maximal objectivity


Your experience isn't the same as the person's.so, try to be as objective as possible and weight all options
That you would actually know something about what you are giving advice about.
Don't give others advice you yourself are unwilling to follow.
The first rule of giving advice is everyone should know advice is free.. so feel free to take it or leave it.





((((Unkie)))))





Cinn =)





P.S. It's the weekend still lol
Be sincere, say when you don't know, and if it's serious, refer to professionals
only take advice off someone whom you are willing to swap shoes with
Be nice, be quick, and say it in two lines.
First, do no harm.
I like to remember that most advice is free... and we often get what we pay for.
First, know who or what you are talking about.

Does he have the slightest feelings left for me? if you give good advice please answer!?

my ex boyfriend and i broke up in the middle of august, but we were gonna get back together. but after saying some nasty things to him thru a phone call one day when i was having a bad day, things changed. I apologized thru text and in person, and he said it was ok and that he was sorry to, but he stopped returning my phone calls and text messages. then he just disappeared. i see him maybe once or twice a month and when i do he ignores me, but i can see him staring at me from the corner of my eye. i still hang out with his friends and one day my friend texted him saying that everyone liked me better because i was always nice and he was just a jerk, which wasn't true. he texted her back saying that no one liked me because i was a *****. i was stunned that he would say that about me. he used to tell me that he loved me. i texted him the following day saying that everything she said wasn't true, and that i didn't know why he hated me. he never answered, and i haven't texted him since. he hates my friend, so why would he be telling her this? everyone else has told me that he doesn't mention me. at a friend's party one night, everyone was drunk except me and a few people, including him. my friend lost her phone and he was trying to help her find it. i didn't know what was going on, it was dark and everyone was drunk and annoying. so when i snapped at 'someone' for shining a cell phone in my face, i thought it was just someone acting stupid. turns out it was him asking me if i'd seen her phone. oops. so i can't blame him for thinking i didn't wanna talk to him. one day when my friend and i were at a tim horton's he was there and i followed her over to his truck, where there were other people i could talk to. apparently he said, ';i guess it's time to go'; when he saw me, i don't know for sure, my friend told me, but i didn't hear him. then she said ';jeez, why do you move away whenever she's around?'; or something like that and he got all defensive and was like, ';i don't, and i don't care if she's around';. i think about him everyday and i continue to say nothing bad about him ever. i apologized and took back everything, (all i said was that he didn't try hard enough and that he didn't care, even though i knew he did) so why did he badmouth me to my friend and why does he not talk to me? yet sometimes i still see him looking at me? does he hate me or is there more to this situation? i still have strong feelings for him, he was the first person i let into my life in that way. and no matter what he says or does, i'd still love him. help?





and how can i get him back into my life?Does he have the slightest feelings left for me? if you give good advice please answer!?
You sound like a nice normal girl. He sounds like a typical jaded exboyfriend.





So what's the problem?





You're acting desperate and needy, and he doesn't want a stalker.





Instead of having low self-esteem and chasing some boy who doesn't want you, you should consider letting go and meeting someone more worth your effort.





You'd be amazed at how quickly an ex is easy to forget when you meet someone new worth getting to know.





~ RobbyDoes he have the slightest feelings left for me? if you give good advice please answer!?
for one, i just want to say that i'm sorry you're going through this, i know how hard it is for you.


and so now, on with the advice : )


firstly, he's probably just in a lot of pain and confused about whats going on. Even though you had said sorry to him about the first phone call thing that you talked about, you still probably hurt him, and guys are just really stupid and even though they say they let things go, they don't all the time.


You say he loved you when you guys were together, and so he probably still really likes you but is just having conflicting feelings.


I would just leave him be for a while, even though i know it hurts. He needs some time to get over it and you need time to cool off. When you see him, just smile and ask him how he is. Be as nice as you can without being fake. He needs to be reminded of the person he fell in love with (probably).


Truthfully, just be ready for him not to take you back. You guys might end up getting together, but really, there's a chance that you might not.


It's like you need to start a friendship back up before you can start a relationship back up. Be his acquaintance, his friend, and it might gradually morph into a relationship.


I wish you the best of luck with this, and I hope everything works out fine. For the time being, just be happy for what you have, and come off as a very confident person to all, and everything will be just fine : )


-audie
He is an idiot. He should not have bad mouth you. If you get back with him and you two happen to break up, he may bad mouth you again. Forget him. He may talk to you if you don't talk to him. If this happens, remember he is a jerk.
He doesn't want you in his life, and he's gone to great lenghts to get that message across to you. He probably said that to your friend because your friend just blasted him in a text message; I would've done the same thing. He doesn't talk to you because he doesn't want to have a relationship with you, be it friendship or romantic. It's time to gve him up and move on with your life.

What should I do and do you have any advice to help me ?

So my question before i kinda like this guy but like i said he has a gf


So just today I found out we had lockers kinda by each other so he said hi to me and came to my locker and before school we were walking around and talking and went to the lunch area in are high school and were talking about school and bowling cuz he bowls and he was like this a picture of my gf on his phone and hes like i have better one of her at home and like I said in the other question his girlfriend like got sent to florida and to go boarding and he can't talk to her until like after christmas or something so he doesn't know if hes breaking up with her or what. But in my other question like I said were going to Winter Formal together as friends still eventhough he has a gf


Any answers would be helpful


ThanksWhat should I do and do you have any advice to help me ?
If he has a GF then he is off limits. He is just playing with your emotions.

Girls, could you give me advice?

I'm a 28 year old college student in the criminaj justice studies. I live at home and am single. In good shape and love to talk to people. I work at ups=under payed slaves. I know I might be a loser to some


of ya's. If you have any questions for me, message me and I'll answere. I'm good looking. It's friday night 11:03 on the 20th I think. I am in southern newjersey. Where can I go tonight to meet someone? Should I even try?Girls, could you give me advice?
Jesus that is not something I'd put on yahoo answers for and creeper stalkers and pedifiles to read, smartie. Get some friends and go to bars and clubs, duh.Girls, could you give me advice?
You don't sound like a loser to me at all, but you're a bit too old for me (I'm 16) and I live in California.





Go hit up the bars or clubs. Call up your guy friends and see what they're doing tonight. Just GET OUT and have a good night. Meet a cute nice girl with brains that you can relate to and have a great time with. Trust me, there are so many girls out there who wouldn't think you're a loser (like me).
whaaat?


This isn't a personals column.
huh?
lol i like your ups thing. never thought of that 1. honestly your question cunfuses me tho...
Yeah you should try.





answer mine, please?


http://ca.answers.yahoo.com/question/ind鈥?/a>
Hmmmm. an ice cream parlor?
Dating sites, Bars, Clubs, You could ask your friends to put you on a blind date, Talk to a nice, pretty girl at a coffee shop, etc!


Yes, you should try!
kevin, just so you know, and i am not trying to be mean, but it's really creapy, that you are asking this online, and also, this really isn't a question, you should go to the college and get wasted, then find a girl, all you need to do is go to a party, there are tons.... good luck dude
creeeper..... hey bars and clubs are the place to hit!! and if u do get a girl possibly ask her out to a thanksgivin g dinner!!!!!!!!!
Club%26amp;Bar= you get certain types of girls, either some who are desperate after a divorce, others who just wanna mess about





Concerts?Other events? Think thats your best shot in future





If you have a local hot spot for people, e.g. bowling alley, restaurant, karaoke bar all in one, this draws a lot of different crowds.





Dont go out with the idea of where can I meet girls. Go out with the knowledge of how you appear to girls/strangers, think of your body language are you around all your guy mates which makes you inaccesable, are you alone? do you slouch or are you confident and friendly?





Goodluck hun, yahoo me if you need help :]





Am I over my ex? pls help


http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?鈥?/a>
How do you look? We should go out!
Aw you sound sweet :)





I'd say a bar but the type of girl you're looking to meet probably doesn't go to bars...


I don't really have any suggestions, sorry.

What do you think? Any advice and help please.?

I'm 18 years old male have never had a girlfriend in my life and have never even dated and have never kissed because of many circumstances that are long to explain. I am straight not gay. Also, I don't look bad. The problem is that I am CONSTANTLY feel bad because of thinking that I missed my young years. I always feel depressed; it is like ruining my life. I feel that I missed the best times when a person have to date, and sometimes I want to die and wish that I will born back with a some luck. When I see young couples I feel myself more and more depressed. It is like I have gotten left alone. Any suggestions and help please? Thank you.What do you think? Any advice and help please.?
get a gf. maybe. or just go gay. whatevers easier.What do you think? Any advice and help please.?
Stop putting off getting into a relation ship, procrastinating is your enemy, and you need to get out there.


find a girl its not hard


:)
  • eye blush
  • Parents, do you have any advice about this?

    He is so close to finishing college. The problem is, he is doing it against his will. We all know having a college degree is really helpful but he doesnt want it. His parents have paid for his school of THEIR choice for a degree of THEIR choice. They have told him they will stop paying after the four years. he wont be done in that time. so its like they are saying :';Ok we will force you to waste all this time to get this close to your degree that we chose for you then you have to finish it and go deeply into debt.'; When they see that his grades arent that great they just tear him down for it. they are not encouraging at all and I dont know what to do to help him so he doesnt feel so bad after what they say to him.Parents, do you have any advice about this?
    give him a good whipping


    whip him till he agrees to finish school and get better grades and make him sign a contract








    he will get good grades someday if you whip him hard enough








    He will thank you for whipping him once he becomes succeful in lifeParents, do you have any advice about this?
    My advice is to stop blaming other people for your problems. The fact that they helped paid for the majority of the education shows that they are great parents. Many students go even without parents help and pile a huge debt due to student loans. I'm surprised you are not even grateful for their help. Stop asking what other people can do for you, but ask what can you do to help yourself. They owe you nothing!
    Since he's an adult, it's his choice to continue at a school he has no wish to attend. And as an adult, he is perfectly capable of rejecting his parent's opinions about his choices.





    Time for him to break free and live his own life.





    All the best.
    give him a good whipping and he'll get better grades for sure


    force him to finish and he'll thank you someday
    well if he has already gone most of the 4 years, he might as well finish, or they (his parents) will have something else to get on him about, right?


    finish the 4th year, and go to a college that he wants and pursue a degree that he wants. he can get financial iad or he will have to go into debt-what ever he has to do. or he can stop after the fourth year and get a job doing something else.


    if he doesn't want under their thumb, then he needs to get out from under it himself.


    as far as the grades-that will be one of my stipulations when i help out with my kids college. im not paying for it if they are going to waste it, by not trying thier hardest. we aren't rich, and if they want to play with my money, then we will move along to the next sibling-it is as easy as that. they have the right to say what they want about his grades, becuase they are providing the classes for it.


    i won't be paying for my kids' entire education either. i will pay for what i can, whether it be 1 year or 5, and they will have to finish it off if they want more. he should be al ittle more grateful. i had to pay my own way through what college i had. he didn't have a problem with it in the beginning , becuase he went to the school they chose. so now, his only option would be to quit (which would be a little dumb, because he is so close) or to finish while putting up with what his parents have to say. people can be overwhelming, especially parents. ';in one ear and out the other';
    Well to start with you don't treat him like a child and tell him its all his parents fault.


    I'm sure they are doing the best they can but everyone has their limits. If he doesnt want a degree then fine let him drop out and have the parents stop payments. He can get a vocation instead of an education. If you really want to be there for him you cant baby him, hold him to a higher standard and make him act like a man.


    What is it he does want to do and then be a motivator for him. If he has no aspirations then abandon him because he has already abandoned himself.





    Simple fact is that he is an adult and he needs to join the rest of the adult population and be a contributor not a Dependant!

    Poll . Do you listen to good advice or do you just do it anyway ?

    I listen to good advice and if it makes sense to me I take it. To be honest, when it comes to advice, I'm more of a giver, not a receiver lol!





    welcome back





    *hugs*Poll . Do you listen to good advice or do you just do it anyway ?
    I always try to listen to good advice. The hard part is knowing when the advice is actually good for you or just in theory. I just need to learn to listen better to my own good advice. Sometimes not listening enough to myself is what causes me the most trouble.


    As far as listening to good advice or just doing it anyway - sometimes it can be quite freeing and exhilarating to throw all caution to the wind. Guess it all depends.... ; )Poll . Do you listen to good advice or do you just do it anyway ?
    Depends on the situation but mostly just do it anyway.


    that is because if something goes wrong , i would know its because of me , i dont have to blame someone else for it.


    *glad to see bear back(with a bang) with lots of care*
    I listen and weigh up all the info before making a decision, because once I have made up my mind theres just no changing it :)
    i do what i gotta do!
    I take it into consideration, but I usually do what I feel is right. It usually pays off.
    Do it anyway, carebear
    I listen to it if I am avbe to
    You must have to be a lot older than 20 before you learn to listen to good advice.
    .... i just do it anyway ... i really shouldn't cos i always pick the wrong choice lol
    Just do it anyway
    I do listen,but i tend to do what i want anyhows...
    I just do it anyway.
    i get advice and do it
    I listen alright, but then say......eff it, what do they know anyway.
    I do either. Depends on my mood.
    Do what my guts tells me.
    just do it by my way..
    I take it onboard.

    I'm considering joining the army.Do you guys have any advice?

    Know what you want to do before ever speaking to a recruiter. Am an all or nothing kind of guy. If I want combat arms, I would look into becoming a ranger or 11B airborne at the least. If I wanted to be support with minimal chance of being shot/bombed I would do dental or something easy. You need to be in outstanding shape to be worth anything. Just passing isn't good enough. if you want to be promoted to Sgt and go to all the schools than you need to be doing well on PT test. Stay away from guys that *****' and moan all the time. It spreads like a disease. Try to get your armory guy to upgrade your rifle with a grip and ACOG. It will make your life much easier and give you a better score than using plain iron sights.I'm considering joining the army.Do you guys have any advice?
    You should make sure to get all the information you need from the recruiter. Ask as many questions as you need. When it comes to signing the contract, make sure that everything in the contract is correct and your MOS is chosen by you, not the recruiter or counselor. If they don't want to offer you what you want tell them you will wait till it is available. Remember the job you choose is going to be yours for a few years. Other than that, good luck see you on the other side.I'm considering joining the army.Do you guys have any advice?
    Don't just speak to a recruiter, speak to ANYBODY that's in or are priors. Recruiter's will just inform you about the good side of things, people who don't need to meet quotas will tell you both sides of things. Write down all the questions you have and ask the recruiter. Also, don't just limit yourself to the Army see what the other 3 branches has to offer. I mean 4 if you count the brown water police (coast guard) =D
    Do your research.


    Army has like 150 different jobs.


    Talk to a recruiter maybe.


    An Army recruiter told me that the website itself has a lot of information.


    http://www.goarmy.com/
    why army just goto the marines
    dont be a pog... and if you decide to be one anyway... be a medic or a 13f...
    make sure its what you want. And talk to a recruiter.

    Do you have any advice on being a good single mom? ?

    My husband and I have had trouble for over 8 years. He left on Christmas day. Since then, I've been at home with our three children 11, 7, and 4. I have been, for the most part, a stay at home mother for eleven years.





    I'm trying to find daycare, a job that provides health insurance, and more affordable housing. My spouse lost his job in July and hasn't found another so we will not be receiving financial support from him for awhile.





    Yes, I know you will ask, I did contact my attorney.





    I'm a little scared. I'm wondering if anyone has any ideas as to what I can do to make the transition easier? Are there groups for single parents? Do you have hints that will make things much easier?





    He called last night and wants to return home. I'm not so sure that is a good idea but am so afraid of being a single mother that I'm tempted to bring him home for the sake of the children.





    Perhaps if I can see that it is possible to be a good single mother, I will be less likely I will be to go back to the former situation.





    Any advice?





    Thank you in advance.Do you have any advice on being a good single mom? ?
    I am 19 years old and pregnant due in 17 days.


    My mom was a single parents for part time raising twins. (My sister and I.) She met a man when we were around 2 years old and when we turned 4 she got married. Shortly after she had another daughter (my little sister.) I say she was pretty much a single mom because he was an alcoholic and didn't really help with the family except for working which wasn't all that either. My mom took care of my sisters and I while working and going to school. She had help from my grandparents (her parents). When I was 17 she was going through a separation and planning on getting a divorce. My twin sister and I graduated high school in '07 and are now in college. My mom was depressed for awhile after she had a near death experience but after her separation she regained her life back. She went back to school and was looking for a job. (During her depression she didn't work but my grandparents helped out along with her ex husband.) Sadly my mom passed away but I considered my mom a single parent and she took care of my sisters and I. The best thing would not to go back to him just because you feel bad or are scared, it might make the situation for the children worse. Just be strong, women are a lot stronger then men that's why we are the ones that are able to have children because we can take care of them. As long as you know you are doing what is best for your children then there is nothing else that really matters. If you want to talk more you can email me. Sorry I know it's long.Do you have any advice on being a good single mom? ?
    I wish I knew of some groups to recommend, but I know they are out there. If you get a community section in your local newspaper, they might list them there. Or, you can contact local social services and they may know of some resources for you.





    The thing is, this is the hardest job in the world. The hours are long and the pay is terrible. The only pay you get at the end of the day is getting to kiss your sleeping child(ren) and knowing you are doing what is best for them.





    So, I recommend that you make sure, and I mean 100% sure, that if you are the one pursuing the divorce, it is for the children and not for yourself. I hate to say it, but single mothers are the least attractive people on the face of the planet. And I'm not talking about sex--they'll use you for that.





    Edit: I didn't mean this to come out as negative as it did. There is much to be said for peace of mind, and I wouldn't trade it for anything. But money? It will always be hard, and men? I have a hard time taking any crap from a man when I didn't take it from my son's father. Know what I'm sayin'?
    do whatever u feel like, if u just cant bear him then dont go back to him. if you do that then he thinks that u are in need of him and will take an advantage of u. if u think u still love him and cant stay with out him (not for kids etc) then u can plan for good. or else since u need financial support from him wether u stay or not with him its his responsibility legally also father need to bear expenses for children
    Keep your children first because in the end they are the most important ppl.





    I would never stay with a man I was not in love with in a marriage there was no hope in salvaging ';just for the kids';. If there is any hostility or drama between the parents, the kids are going to feel it, so it wouldn't be to any ones benefit.





    I'm sure there are groups in your area...try searching online. If not in your area, places like cafemom.com can be of great support.





    With all the broken marriages and relationships in this world, as a single mom, it really isn't hard to find a man..don't believe that crap.
    It is definitely scary being a single mom, especially when you've been a stay at home mom. However, don't let fear be your deciding factor. Look at it as if you have no choice but to do the best that you can. It is hard. You will deal with guilty feelings, that is all natural. There are many organizations out there for support, financially and emotionally, seek them out. As far as letting him back, he is not working himself, what help is he going to contribute (other than maybe caring for the children if that....Sorry for the sarcasm) I also understand ';for the sake of the children'; it's a hard call but it's yours. Just know that there is help out there. You will be surprised how strong we can be when we have to be!

    Do you have any advice on how to become a singer in Japan?

    I'm a really outgoing 17 year old girl. I have blonde hair and blue eyes. I am 5'4'; average weight. I have had 7 years of dance class, 11 years of piano, and 7 years of vocal coaching! wooh! (I have been teaching myself Japanese for a few months because my school doesn't offer it as a foreign language, and there are no Japanese classes I could take outside of school.. argh) My dream is to one day become a singer in Japan! I know a lot of other people out there have the same goal, but I am sure of myself, and I know I could if I only had the chance! If anyone has any words of advice, I'd love to hear it. : ) hehe!Do you have any advice on how to become a singer in Japan?
    Wauuu you are so talented. Of course Japan awaits you.


    Hurry up.Do you have any advice on how to become a singer in Japan?
    What a lie. how can you do piano for 11 years, dance for 7, and singing lessons for 7 when you're only 17? Brush up on your math skills.You'd have to be at least 25 to even of been on earth that long.

    Report Abuse



    Well it definitely sounds like you're an ambitious person and a talented musician/performer!





    I'm just not so sure how easy it would be for a foreigner to get their start as a singer in Japan. I'm not sure about the entertainment industry in particular, but some industries and employers in Japan can be a tad...well, not exactly racist, but not exactly foreigner-friendly, either. On the other hand, I hear there's a lot of foreign personalities on television and such over there, so maybe foreigners are more popular because they're 'different' or something.





    I'd imagine either way fluency in Japanese is a must. And you'll probably have better luck as a singer if you sing/write songs in Japanese; although I know a lot of Japanese people who listen to American and other English-language music as well, if you're trying to get your start in Japan, you will most certainly need to know Japanese fluently (native level speaking/reading/writing/etc).





    I also have a hard time imagining how exactly you'd get in and get 'noticed' initially. Japan's not really somewhere where you just get up and decide to move to. They've got pretty strict immigration requirements, and unless you have a job offer from a company that will sponsor your visa, you really can't stay long-term in most cases.





    Of course, the other alternative is a spouse visa, lol. I have heard people visiting Japan as tourists, meeting someone, and then falling in love and deciding to get married so they can stay together -- all within the 90-day tourist limit. But you're a bit too young for that, I'd imagine :-P





    I'm not saying to give up, but if you're interested in Japan, I'd have a backup plan on how to at least get in and start living there, and maybe work on getting noticed as a singer once you're there for other reasons. English teaching tends to be the most popular route into Japan, since the only qualifications are usually a bachelor's degree in *something* (really anything, doesn't have to be English or Education...) and to be a native English speaker.





    Anyway, good luck, you sound like you have the talent and the looks to make it as a singer, but Japan's a completely different story than the US (or wherever you're from, I'm assuming here %26gt;.%26gt;).





    Good luck





    edit: I'm not sure why I got voted down so much, but I found this link that might be if interest to you





    http://www.sonymusic.co.jp/sd/IA/english.html
    Your biggest obstacle is getting a permit to stay in Japan, you will need a visa.





    Most people get one by teaching English but you need a 4 year degree for that. Also the unemployment here is very high, so even with the degree it can be difficult.





    Your knowledge of Japanese will have little or nothing to do with you getting to stay in Japan.





    Japan is not a place you can just move to and ';make it'; like you can in America, to be quite honest you have a better chance in the US or Britain even if you dont want to hear that.





    Japanese immigration doesnt care about your grades or who you are in a group of friends or what state you are from.





    Japan is very anal and it is ALL about the paperwork and you basically have none to show them.





    There is one way you can stay here, you can come to college here on a student visa but you will be paying for it. If you go to Temple Tokyo, you can use US financial aid for part of it but you will have to pick up the rest of the cost.





    Heed my warning. Get an education. I came to Japan with the same dreams as you and while it may be true that some Americans can get work easy as an entertainer, it is not as easy as it seems. Just being from the states is not going to open every door in fact many will by closed because you are basically an outsider.





    The only other option is the entertainer visa. You would have to fly here on a tourist visa and basically find someone to sponsor you. This is probably the most difficult way especially in this economy.





    If you are truly serious, save up. Cause it is going to cost a lot of money. Otherwise, invest that money into your career elsewhere, where the cost of music production is lower. Good luck!
    This girl sounds pretty awesome in both talent and mindset, and i am not seeing why anyone would discourage her. She has a practical mind, and seems to know enough about how difficult it is to move there and is just seeking a pathway for being noticed by a talent agency to help bolster her desired career.





    Anyway, as you know it would be difficult, and even less likely that you would succeed than a japanese person with a similar, yet difficult, goal like this one. Leah Dizon at least became noticed at some point in her career, i am not sure how she did it though. Her japanese was pretty bad, and she would appear on TV shows (where often her learning japanese was part of the conversation or part of a game they would play on the show). So, having super japanese ability is obviously not necessary, but also -- obviously desirable. Then again, even though Dizon is so mixed, she does have the general feature of having something of an asian appearance (and small body frame, also she was a model so that helped her).





    Being so non-japanese will make the path harder. If you are as likable a person as you come off to be in just how you phrased this question and how you handled people's comments so far, and you work hard enough, maybe you could be the 1%, so good luck!





    (Sorry i am unaware of any international auditions or anything, and i doubt their existence. As everyone is talking about, japan is not especially used to having foreigners become singers, so international auditions would be a waste).
    I dont think so. Suppose Avril Lavigne decided to change her home ground from america to japan, and dumped her current ugly husband to some decent japanese man. she could still manage her status as a singer, yet she wouldnt necessarily obtain a japnaese citizenship while there's no visa issues. she would still be a canadian and a singer in japan. but in other words, the probability could be as low as avril lavigne would go through all of these above.

    Do you have any advice for me?

    I've been stressed out for as long as I can remember, and especially over school. I worked since I was 4 to get into Harvard, and I was rejected, but I still got into really prestigious schools with exactly what I was looking for (prestige doesn't matter, but I feel like people think I'm stupid when I admit to being rejected by such an amazing school). I'm past that now and I'm thinking of transferring to my original backup/safety school (they said they'd still take me), because I'm pre-med and I'm about to either finally overcome my religion and kill myself or quit school. The problem is that my parents think I want to transfer because I'm homesick, I'm not homesick. I tried explaining and they insist I have to stay here. My parents spent so much time making fun of the school I'm attending (when they knew Harvard, meant so much to me, and they even went to the Ivy League colleges themselves). I don't understand why they insist on me staying here, maybe they should have spent less time putting this place down. I'm so annoyed, because they're always doing this to me. I have a lot of reasons as to why I want to transfer, but they won't listen to me and they won't even let me come home and try to explain.





    I sound spoiled and selfish here, and I am so sorry. I can't do this anymore though and I'm tired of trying to save them from stress and of always taking care of them, when they just expect me to be perfect and to give them something to brag about; I love my parents more than anything, I feel lost though. Do you have any advice? Again, I'm really sorry.





    Thank you very much!Do you have any advice for me?
    you sound...very beaten down. how many times did you apologize? (stop! i can already hear your apology for over-apologizing!) there's no need to apologize for wishing you got into Harvard rather than, say Yale. anyone who scorns these perfectly rational feelings is an @sshole. you should be allowed to feel your feelings without apology.





    you remind me a lot of how i used to be. i was also a little ms. perfect for my parents to show off to the rest of the PTA. my parents were also overbearing and dismissive of my feelings, no matter how civilly i tried to state my position.





    i used to scorn classmates that ';acted out'; during their teenage years. i thought that was so juvenile. now i realize that ';acting out'; (a parenting phrase, mind you) is actually necessary to show your parents that you are an entity independent of them and you are entitled to some respect.





    parents, like children, can grow spoiled. they can begin to view their children as obedient, complacent extensions of themselves. they project their hopes and desires onto their children, who are forced to endure the stress and work that goes into making those hopes a reality. they begin to bully their children in a way that they wouldn't dare do to any other human being. parents can forget that despite giving birth to them, children are not their property.





    like a good parent ensures that their child does not become a brat, you to must put your foot down to ensure your parents do not become selfish intolerant gits. insist on your right to determine your own future, you may have to go pretty far to prove your point. your parents may threaten to disown you. it's your decision as to what to do when it comes to that.





    you don't have to start going crazy: partying, doing hard drugs and attending satanist gatherings to prove your point. just stand up for yourself. state in a clear and decisive manner what you will and will not tolerate. are you willing to have them fiscally disown you if it comes down to it? is your freedom, happiness and self-respect worth it? i think so. and honestly, if that does happen, you won't die. you can handle it. and you'll be happier living a life you want to live. when you make that decision to no longer be indebted to your parents (even if it only goes so far as making that choice), that's when even the most belligerent parents are forced respect you.Do you have any advice for me?
    My parents and especially grandparents would not let me live my life the way I wanted. Nothing wrong with it. I just wanted to stay single for a while, do things I wanted to do, learn to support myself, and learn from my own mistakes. My grandparents wanted me to marry and let my husband support me. No one would listen. They kept butting in and tried to run my life. They could not break the umbilical cord. Finally I just got my own place, moved, and did not talk to them until they listened what I had to say. It did not take long, only a couple of months. They began to question why I refused to talk to them. I explained that I will talk to them if they would listen to what I had to say. They knew I meant business. It worked.





    Don't let them put you down. You do what you need to do. They should be greatful that you are going to school and medical school at that. I would transfer, find your own place, and do what you need to do. Don't let them know what you are doing. Let them know that you are tired of their childish behavior and you will fill them in when they are not so negative and will actually listen.
    You have to do whats going to make you happier in the long run. I know right now it seems like a HUGE deal to get your parents to be happy AND do what you like. But if you will remember that Its the future that matters, not the MOMENT, then you can make the right decision. Eventually your parents will be fine with your decision and the world will keep on going even though you transfer to the school you can be happiest at. Its really about yourself being happy. Others will fall into place. I promise. Im just curious, is the school your in Ivy League, and the one you want to transfer to NOT Ivy League? Is this the problem your parents are having? Cause thats not THAT important. THIS TOO SHALL PASS. Keep that in mind. Once you make your decision and stick to it, things will settle down. You will have a good career no matter. Parents will come around. Most of them always do. :)
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  • Can you give me advice on healing my wound?

    My wound is around where the neck ends going down my chest.


    my wound started out as a very red painful,itchy sore bump. I don't know if it was a mosquito bite.


    then the next day it had puss in it. I just left it alone because i didn't want to fuss with it. Then it just popped by its own and now for 6 days it has just became a bleeding,round deep wound. and around the wound is very very deep red, its also hot.





    So everyday i have been washing it and i putting iodine. Then i put an ointment. I then started to put honey. Nothing is working. I let it to get air and i do wrap it up when i sleep. when i do wrap it up i put ice on it to cool down because its hot.


    i don't know what to do im very frustrated and so sad. i worry about the scarring, but im more worried about if infection is going to happen.


    please help?Can you give me advice on healing my wound?
    The redness and heat are an indication of infection.





    Sounds like you need an antibiotic, either tablet or cream, to help this heal.Can you give me advice on healing my wound?
    Sounds like a spider bite. Just keep it clean and if it gets any worse see a doc. If anything you could have a dog lick it. I know sounds weird and gross but it works.

    I'm considering joining the army.Do you guys have any advice?

    Know what you want to do before ever speaking to a recruiter. Am an all or nothing kind of guy. If I want combat arms, I would look into becoming a ranger or 11B airborne at the least. If I wanted to be support with minimal chance of being shot/bombed I would do dental or something easy. You need to be in outstanding shape to be worth anything. Just passing isn't good enough. if you want to be promoted to Sgt and go to all the schools than you need to be doing well on PT test. Stay away from guys that *****' and moan all the time. It spreads like a disease. Try to get your armory guy to upgrade your rifle with a grip and ACOG. It will make your life much easier and give you a better score than using plain iron sights.I'm considering joining the army.Do you guys have any advice?
    You should make sure to get all the information you need from the recruiter. Ask as many questions as you need. When it comes to signing the contract, make sure that everything in the contract is correct and your MOS is chosen by you, not the recruiter or counselor. If they don't want to offer you what you want tell them you will wait till it is available. Remember the job you choose is going to be yours for a few years. Other than that, good luck see you on the other side.I'm considering joining the army.Do you guys have any advice?
    Don't just speak to a recruiter, speak to ANYBODY that's in or are priors. Recruiter's will just inform you about the good side of things, people who don't need to meet quotas will tell you both sides of things. Write down all the questions you have and ask the recruiter. Also, don't just limit yourself to the Army see what the other 3 branches has to offer. I mean 4 if you count the brown water police (coast guard) =D
    Do your research.


    Army has like 150 different jobs.


    Talk to a recruiter maybe.


    An Army recruiter told me that the website itself has a lot of information.


    http://www.goarmy.com/
    why army just goto the marines
    dont be a pog... and if you decide to be one anyway... be a medic or a 13f...
    make sure its what you want. And talk to a recruiter.

    Do you have any advice for a girl scared to come out to her friend?

    So...I haven't come out to my friend at work. She added me on facebook and will find out if I add her back. We've never talked about it and I think she's thought I was straight all this time. I'm scared she will be mad at me for not telling her, or mad that I'm bi, and won't want to be my friend anymore. I'm scared. Please help me. I hate this so much and it really hurts. I've lost friends for being bi before.Do you have any advice for a girl scared to come out to her friend?
    If you're close enough to her that something like your sexuality will come up, she'll understand. If not, (I know it's cliche) but she won't be a good friend anyway.





    If it's never going to come up, don't feel obligated to bring it up. If you want to, that's completely fine. There's nothing wrong with being bisexual, and you have absolutely nothing to be ashamed of. If you don't want to bring it up, that's fine too.





    As long as you've never told her that you're straight, she has no reason to be mad at you. She's the one assuming things. And we all know what they say about what happens when you assume things....Do you have any advice for a girl scared to come out to her friend?
    i know i hate it when people tell me this but it really is true.





    If someone isn't your friend for some crappy reason like your sexuality, they will never be a good enough friend.





    it's not worth worrying about. if they dont like you, you dont need them

    Do you have any advice on being a good single mom? ?

    My husband and I have had trouble for over 8 years. He left on Christmas day. Since then, I've been at home with our three children 11, 7, and 4. I have been, for the most part, a stay at home mother for eleven years.





    I'm trying to find daycare, a job that provides health insurance, and more affordable housing. My spouse lost his job in July and hasn't found another so we will not be receiving financial support from him for awhile.





    Yes, I know you will ask, I did contact my attorney.





    I'm a little scared. I'm wondering if anyone has any ideas as to what I can do to make the transition easier? Are there groups for single parents? Do you have hints that will make things much easier?





    He called last night and wants to return home. I'm not so sure that is a good idea but am so afraid of being a single mother that I'm tempted to bring him home for the sake of the children.





    Perhaps if I can see that it is possible to be a good single mother, I will be less likely I will be to go back to the former situation.





    Any advice?





    Thank you in advance.Do you have any advice on being a good single mom? ?
    It is definitely scary being a single mom, especially when you've been a stay at home mom. However, don't let fear be your deciding factor. Look at it as if you have no choice but to do the best that you can. It is hard. You will deal with guilty feelings, that is all natural. There are many organizations out there for support, financially and emotionally, seek them out. As far as letting him back, he is not working himself, what help is he going to contribute (other than maybe caring for the children if that....Sorry for the sarcasm) I also understand ';for the sake of the children'; it's a hard call but it's yours. Just know that there is help out there. You will be surprised how strong we can be when we have to be!Do you have any advice on being a good single mom? ?
    I wish I knew of some groups to recommend, but I know they are out there. If you get a community section in your local newspaper, they might list them there. Or, you can contact local social services and they may know of some resources for you.





    The thing is, this is the hardest job in the world. The hours are long and the pay is terrible. The only pay you get at the end of the day is getting to kiss your sleeping child(ren) and knowing you are doing what is best for them.





    So, I recommend that you make sure, and I mean 100% sure, that if you are the one pursuing the divorce, it is for the children and not for yourself. I hate to say it, but single mothers are the least attractive people on the face of the planet. And I'm not talking about sex--they'll use you for that.





    Edit: I didn't mean this to come out as negative as it did. There is much to be said for peace of mind, and I wouldn't trade it for anything. But money? It will always be hard, and men? I have a hard time taking any crap from a man when I didn't take it from my son's father. Know what I'm sayin'?
    Keep your children first because in the end they are the most important ppl.





    I would never stay with a man I was not in love with in a marriage there was no hope in salvaging ';just for the kids';. If there is any hostility or drama between the parents, the kids are going to feel it, so it wouldn't be to any ones benefit.





    I'm sure there are groups in your area...try searching online. If not in your area, places like cafemom.com can be of great support.





    With all the broken marriages and relationships in this world, as a single mom, it really isn't hard to find a man..don't believe that crap.
    do whatever u feel like, if u just cant bear him then dont go back to him. if you do that then he thinks that u are in need of him and will take an advantage of u. if u think u still love him and cant stay with out him (not for kids etc) then u can plan for good. or else since u need financial support from him wether u stay or not with him its his responsibility legally also father need to bear expenses for children
    I am 19 years old and pregnant due in 17 days.


    My mom was a single parents for part time raising twins. (My sister and I.) She met a man when we were around 2 years old and when we turned 4 she got married. Shortly after she had another daughter (my little sister.) I say she was pretty much a single mom because he was an alcoholic and didn't really help with the family except for working which wasn't all that either. My mom took care of my sisters and I while working and going to school. She had help from my grandparents (her parents). When I was 17 she was going through a separation and planning on getting a divorce. My twin sister and I graduated high school in '07 and are now in college. My mom was depressed for awhile after she had a near death experience but after her separation she regained her life back. She went back to school and was looking for a job. (During her depression she didn't work but my grandparents helped out along with her ex husband.) Sadly my mom passed away but I considered my mom a single parent and she took care of my sisters and I. The best thing would not to go back to him just because you feel bad or are scared, it might make the situation for the children worse. Just be strong, women are a lot stronger then men that's why we are the ones that are able to have children because we can take care of them. As long as you know you are doing what is best for your children then there is nothing else that really matters. If you want to talk more you can email me. Sorry I know it's long.

    Do you have any advice on how to become a singer in Japan?

    I'm a really outgoing 17 year old girl. I have blonde hair and blue eyes. I am 5'4'; average weight. I have had 7 years of dance class, 11 years of piano, and 7 years of vocal coaching! wooh! (I have been teaching myself Japanese for a few months because my school doesn't offer it as a foreign language, and there are no Japanese classes I could take outside of school.. argh) My dream is to one day become a singer in Japan! I know a lot of other people out there have the same goal, but I am sure of myself, and I know I could if I only had the chance! If anyone has any words of advice, I'd love to hear it. : ) hehe!Do you have any advice on how to become a singer in Japan?
    Wauuu you are so talented. Of course Japan awaits you.


    Hurry up.Do you have any advice on how to become a singer in Japan?
    What a lie. how can you do piano for 11 years, dance for 7, and singing lessons for 7 when you're only 17? Brush up on your math skills.You'd have to be at least 25 to even of been on earth that long.

    Report Abuse



    Well it definitely sounds like you're an ambitious person and a talented musician/performer!





    I'm just not so sure how easy it would be for a foreigner to get their start as a singer in Japan. I'm not sure about the entertainment industry in particular, but some industries and employers in Japan can be a tad...well, not exactly racist, but not exactly foreigner-friendly, either. On the other hand, I hear there's a lot of foreign personalities on television and such over there, so maybe foreigners are more popular because they're 'different' or something.





    I'd imagine either way fluency in Japanese is a must. And you'll probably have better luck as a singer if you sing/write songs in Japanese; although I know a lot of Japanese people who listen to American and other English-language music as well, if you're trying to get your start in Japan, you will most certainly need to know Japanese fluently (native level speaking/reading/writing/etc).





    I also have a hard time imagining how exactly you'd get in and get 'noticed' initially. Japan's not really somewhere where you just get up and decide to move to. They've got pretty strict immigration requirements, and unless you have a job offer from a company that will sponsor your visa, you really can't stay long-term in most cases.





    Of course, the other alternative is a spouse visa, lol. I have heard people visiting Japan as tourists, meeting someone, and then falling in love and deciding to get married so they can stay together -- all within the 90-day tourist limit. But you're a bit too young for that, I'd imagine :-P





    I'm not saying to give up, but if you're interested in Japan, I'd have a backup plan on how to at least get in and start living there, and maybe work on getting noticed as a singer once you're there for other reasons. English teaching tends to be the most popular route into Japan, since the only qualifications are usually a bachelor's degree in *something* (really anything, doesn't have to be English or Education...) and to be a native English speaker.





    Anyway, good luck, you sound like you have the talent and the looks to make it as a singer, but Japan's a completely different story than the US (or wherever you're from, I'm assuming here %26gt;.%26gt;).





    Good luck





    edit: I'm not sure why I got voted down so much, but I found this link that might be if interest to you





    http://www.sonymusic.co.jp/sd/IA/english.html
    Your biggest obstacle is getting a permit to stay in Japan, you will need a visa.





    Most people get one by teaching English but you need a 4 year degree for that. Also the unemployment here is very high, so even with the degree it can be difficult.





    Your knowledge of Japanese will have little or nothing to do with you getting to stay in Japan.





    Japan is not a place you can just move to and ';make it'; like you can in America, to be quite honest you have a better chance in the US or Britain even if you dont want to hear that.





    Japanese immigration doesnt care about your grades or who you are in a group of friends or what state you are from.





    Japan is very anal and it is ALL about the paperwork and you basically have none to show them.





    There is one way you can stay here, you can come to college here on a student visa but you will be paying for it. If you go to Temple Tokyo, you can use US financial aid for part of it but you will have to pick up the rest of the cost.





    Heed my warning. Get an education. I came to Japan with the same dreams as you and while it may be true that some Americans can get work easy as an entertainer, it is not as easy as it seems. Just being from the states is not going to open every door in fact many will by closed because you are basically an outsider.





    The only other option is the entertainer visa. You would have to fly here on a tourist visa and basically find someone to sponsor you. This is probably the most difficult way especially in this economy.





    If you are truly serious, save up. Cause it is going to cost a lot of money. Otherwise, invest that money into your career elsewhere, where the cost of music production is lower. Good luck!
    This girl sounds pretty awesome in both talent and mindset, and i am not seeing why anyone would discourage her. She has a practical mind, and seems to know enough about how difficult it is to move there and is just seeking a pathway for being noticed by a talent agency to help bolster her desired career.





    Anyway, as you know it would be difficult, and even less likely that you would succeed than a japanese person with a similar, yet difficult, goal like this one. Leah Dizon at least became noticed at some point in her career, i am not sure how she did it though. Her japanese was pretty bad, and she would appear on TV shows (where often her learning japanese was part of the conversation or part of a game they would play on the show). So, having super japanese ability is obviously not necessary, but also -- obviously desirable. Then again, even though Dizon is so mixed, she does have the general feature of having something of an asian appearance (and small body frame, also she was a model so that helped her).





    Being so non-japanese will make the path harder. If you are as likable a person as you come off to be in just how you phrased this question and how you handled people's comments so far, and you work hard enough, maybe you could be the 1%, so good luck!





    (Sorry i am unaware of any international auditions or anything, and i doubt their existence. As everyone is talking about, japan is not especially used to having foreigners become singers, so international auditions would be a waste).
    I dont think so. Suppose Avril Lavigne decided to change her home ground from america to japan, and dumped her current ugly husband to some decent japanese man. she could still manage her status as a singer, yet she wouldnt necessarily obtain a japnaese citizenship while there's no visa issues. she would still be a canadian and a singer in japan. but in other words, the probability could be as low as avril lavigne would go through all of these above.

    Do you have any advice for me?

    I've been stressed out for as long as I can remember, and especially over school. I worked since I was 4 to get into Harvard, and I was rejected, but I still got into really prestigious schools with exactly what I was looking for (prestige doesn't matter, but I feel like people think I'm stupid when I admit to being rejected by such an amazing school). I'm past that now and I'm thinking of transferring to my original backup/safety school (they said they'd still take me), because I'm pre-med and I'm about to either finally overcome my religion and kill myself or quit school. The problem is that my parents think I want to transfer because I'm homesick, I'm not homesick. I tried explaining and they insist I have to stay here. My parents spent so much time making fun of the school I'm attending (when they knew Harvard, meant so much to me, and they even went to the Ivy League colleges themselves). I don't understand why they insist on me staying here, maybe they should have spent less time putting this place down. I'm so annoyed, because they're always doing this to me. I have a lot of reasons as to why I want to transfer, but they won't listen to me and they won't even let me come home and try to explain.





    I sound spoiled and selfish here, and I am so sorry. I can't do this anymore though and I'm tired of trying to save them from stress and of always taking care of them, when they just expect me to be perfect and to give them something to brag about; I love my parents more than anything, I feel lost though. Do you have any advice? Again, I'm really sorry.





    Thank you very much!Do you have any advice for me?
    you sound...very beaten down. how many times did you apologize? (stop! i can already hear your apology for over-apologizing!) there's no need to apologize for wishing you got into Harvard rather than, say Yale. anyone who scorns these perfectly rational feelings is an @sshole. you should be allowed to feel your feelings without apology.





    you remind me a lot of how i used to be. i was also a little ms. perfect for my parents to show off to the rest of the PTA. my parents were also overbearing and dismissive of my feelings, no matter how civilly i tried to state my position.





    i used to scorn classmates that ';acted out'; during their teenage years. i thought that was so juvenile. now i realize that ';acting out'; (a parenting phrase, mind you) is actually necessary to show your parents that you are an entity independent of them and you are entitled to some respect.





    parents, like children, can grow spoiled. they can begin to view their children as obedient, complacent extensions of themselves. they project their hopes and desires onto their children, who are forced to endure the stress and work that goes into making those hopes a reality. they begin to bully their children in a way that they wouldn't dare do to any other human being. parents can forget that despite giving birth to them, children are not their property.





    like a good parent ensures that their child does not become a brat, you to must put your foot down to ensure your parents do not become selfish intolerant gits. insist on your right to determine your own future, you may have to go pretty far to prove your point. your parents may threaten to disown you. it's your decision as to what to do when it comes to that.





    you don't have to start going crazy: partying, doing hard drugs and attending satanist gatherings to prove your point. just stand up for yourself. state in a clear and decisive manner what you will and will not tolerate. are you willing to have them fiscally disown you if it comes down to it? is your freedom, happiness and self-respect worth it? i think so. and honestly, if that does happen, you won't die. you can handle it. and you'll be happier living a life you want to live. when you make that decision to no longer be indebted to your parents (even if it only goes so far as making that choice), that's when even the most belligerent parents are forced respect you.Do you have any advice for me?
    My parents and especially grandparents would not let me live my life the way I wanted. Nothing wrong with it. I just wanted to stay single for a while, do things I wanted to do, learn to support myself, and learn from my own mistakes. My grandparents wanted me to marry and let my husband support me. No one would listen. They kept butting in and tried to run my life. They could not break the umbilical cord. Finally I just got my own place, moved, and did not talk to them until they listened what I had to say. It did not take long, only a couple of months. They began to question why I refused to talk to them. I explained that I will talk to them if they would listen to what I had to say. They knew I meant business. It worked.





    Don't let them put you down. You do what you need to do. They should be greatful that you are going to school and medical school at that. I would transfer, find your own place, and do what you need to do. Don't let them know what you are doing. Let them know that you are tired of their childish behavior and you will fill them in when they are not so negative and will actually listen.
    You have to do whats going to make you happier in the long run. I know right now it seems like a HUGE deal to get your parents to be happy AND do what you like. But if you will remember that Its the future that matters, not the MOMENT, then you can make the right decision. Eventually your parents will be fine with your decision and the world will keep on going even though you transfer to the school you can be happiest at. Its really about yourself being happy. Others will fall into place. I promise. Im just curious, is the school your in Ivy League, and the one you want to transfer to NOT Ivy League? Is this the problem your parents are having? Cause thats not THAT important. THIS TOO SHALL PASS. Keep that in mind. Once you make your decision and stick to it, things will settle down. You will have a good career no matter. Parents will come around. Most of them always do. :)
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  • Can you give me advice on healing my wound?

    My wound is around where the neck ends going down my chest.


    my wound started out as a very red painful,itchy sore bump. I don't know if it was a mosquito bite.


    then the next day it had puss in it. I just left it alone because i didn't want to fuss with it. Then it just popped by its own and now for 6 days it has just became a bleeding,round deep wound. and around the wound is very very deep red, its also hot.





    So everyday i have been washing it and i putting iodine. Then i put an ointment. I then started to put honey. Nothing is working. I let it to get air and i do wrap it up when i sleep. when i do wrap it up i put ice on it to cool down because its hot.


    i don't know what to do im very frustrated and so sad. i worry about the scarring, but im more worried about if infection is going to happen.


    please help?Can you give me advice on healing my wound?
    The redness and heat are an indication of infection.





    Sounds like you need an antibiotic, either tablet or cream, to help this heal.Can you give me advice on healing my wound?
    Sounds like a spider bite. Just keep it clean and if it gets any worse see a doc. If anything you could have a dog lick it. I know sounds weird and gross but it works.

    Would you seek further advice on this....34 weeks pregnant?

    hi all. im just over 34 weeks pregnant and have a few signs of pre-eclampsia.


    i saw my midwife last thursday, who done a urine test which showed protein, and white blood cells, the blood cells were plus 2. but i have no infection as urine was sent to lab to test, been having this for a few mnths now.


    anyways, when i visited my midwife i mentioned about some headaches i have been getting, i just cant seem to shift it no matter what i do, i keep seeing spots in front of my eyes, my vision is becoming blurry and i am constantly tired, like rediculously.


    as yet i have no significant swelling, and my blood pressure was normal (but high for me, mine is normally 90/65, its been reading at 125/70 lately)


    my modwife told me to go home and i would see her some time in the next few weeks, thing is i had pre-eclampsia with my son got it at 35 weeks, so im worried i have it again, also my dr at the hospital sed to have my blood pressure checked avery 2 weeks from 20 weeks pregnant, and this has never been doneWould you seek further advice on this....34 weeks pregnant?
    Well, what you described is everything that ive read the preclampsia is. I would defantly get it checked out and keep a monitor on your blood pressure. Maybe even see an actual doctor about it.Would you seek further advice on this....34 weeks pregnant?
    Pester your health professionals, at that late stage of pregnancy, they should not take any chances. Sounds like they are not very professional at all! Make sure you get properly checked and good luck
    i would give her a call and explain your worried and could she check you also make sure she knows she is ment to check you every 2 weeks for high blood pressure as sometimes messeges dont get through. just give her a call or you could call the non emergency number on your notes and see what they say

    Survey: What do you think of Palins' advice to Canada ... she said: Canada needs to ....?

    ... dismantle its public health-care system and allow private enterprise to get involved and turn a profit ............ Is this the American way.. would love to hear opinions on this flipit remark from the mouth of Sarah Palin.Survey: What do you think of Palins' advice to Canada ... she said: Canada needs to ....?
    I can actually hear my braincells scream in pain as they die whenever she speaks. This being the latest.





    I think she knows nothing about what she speaks of. I've never heard her say ONE thing legitimate that would make me respect her point of view. As far as I can tell she doesn't have her own, and if she does, it is horrendously misinformed or stunningly lazy.





    I've had plenty of encounters with my health care system to know that in comparison, the U.S. is f.u.b.a.r. I'm getting knee surgery this coming year, thank you Health Canada. Anyone who supports her is as much of if not more of a moron as she. I say that begrudgingly because I loath demeaning anybody's intelligence. But damnit, she's just so damn pointless!





    Most obvious corporate political puppet in centuries.





    Go back to Alaska and get eaten by the Wolves you think it's alright to kill from helicopters. Dumb ***tch.Survey: What do you think of Palins' advice to Canada ... she said: Canada needs to ....?
    any time ;)

    Report Abuse



    She's nuts.





    Well, at least regarding this. The USA is the only industrialized country without a social health care system. And, it shows - higher infant mortality rates, and so on.





    I think we'll just keep our country healthy, thanks all the same.
    You can't trust anything she says. She intellectually lazy. She studied journalism in college, but still hired a ghostwriter for her book. She has her talking points, but too often gets the facts wrong or flat out lies.
    i think she needs to go back to alaska and cover herself in a snow drift for the next ..oh ...say...100 years or so. she is the second stupidest american politician of my generation.
    They SHOULD he should she should.. ... Ya! she should be dismantled.. ..brain cell by brain cell.. and sent to Siberia for reconstructive surgery..





    ~Canadian here!
    f ./uck palin America helps no one even it own
    They have better care than the USA. The people in Canada live longer on average.
    she should look after her own backyard before giving advice to a neighbor. i have no respect for her.
    Sara Palin can go F*** it.
    She's kind of a mystery in what she's going to say next. Like a Magic 8 Ball.
    she should go back to Alaska and hang out with rocky%26amp;bullwinkle.


    who in there right mind would vote for this woman?
    i think she is an idiot
    She needs to mind her own business.


    We're quite happy with our free health care..

    Could You Give Me Advice? PLEASE?

    Hey!


    So i like this guy and he's got a thing for me too. So how do I ease into kissing him? I really wanna find a time with him alone. So we have this really free, open lunch time where we can go anywhere we want on campus (I'm 13 not in college lol) and we have this secret garden thingie called ';the meditation garden'; and i was thinking about asking him to eat lunch with me there and then kissing him in there where no one could see us really. Would that be a good idea?





    So my questions about kissing were


    how do i ease my way into it without scaring him?


    and


    what are some good tips?





    THANKS SO MUCH!Could You Give Me Advice? PLEASE?
    i think ur too young to go around kissing people. Get to know the guy firstCould You Give Me Advice? PLEASE?
    Sounds Good.


    Dont Try To kiss him as such tho.


    just sit and talk. maybe try flirting a little and let the rest come natural.


    best of luk bbe ..
    well talk to him eat your lunch and then pretend your geting up and kiss him
    first joke around about y'all kissing...for example say (boys name) you know you want to kiss me. you have to make sure that it fits into the convo otherwise it will seem kinda random and he will pick up on it, he will probably say something like ya i do. then you can either say well you will have to earn it, or something like well make it happen. main point is make him kiss you not you kiss him. im a guy and i hate when girls do it to me but if he really likes you he will go for it, and it will seem more special...ur to young to be kissing anyways haha jp
    Just sloooowly move closer to him. Stare into his eyes. Put you hand on his cheek, in his hair. From there I think he'll get the point....

    Could you give me advice about my GF?

    I have been with my current GF for about 6 months.





    She is 20 and I am 23.





    We have had sex many times already. However, I only ever use her brown hole and she wants to know why. I never have vaginal sex with her. It is always anal. That is just the way I enjoy it. I don't even do it to avoid pregnancy.





    I was wondering if there is anything wrong with that? I mean, does that mean she isn't enjoying it?





    What should I tell her?





    Is this normal? Or am I weird?Could you give me advice about my GF?
    Why don't you have vaginal sex with her as well as anal? She probably feels as though you're only pleasing yourself take her into consideration too ;)


    GoodluckCould you give me advice about my GF?
    Have you given any thought as to why you like having anal sex could be that your GAY it is not normal for a man to only want to have sex with a female in the butt something isn't right here
    She most likely doesn't enjoy it and does it for you to make you happy. I think it is weird and think you may be gay or bi.
    well you might as well be doing with a guy, i know if my boyfriend was doing that thats what I'd be thinking, im sure it hurts alot more! and she does have a vagina for a reason!
    alright...ewwwwww. first off, dont ask this question again. talk to her and ask what she prefers. talk about pregnancies. dont do it before marriage, cause thats always bad.
    It probably hurts her after a while.
    you are weird.

    I really need some advice.. what do you think?

    1. So, I saw him Tuesday night at this party and he walks in and is waiting in the food line (there is one person in between us) and the first thing he does is look at me and go, ';hey emma'; and then he looked directly into my eyes for a few seconds and then looked down.





    2.After that he never directly addressed me the rest of the night but everytime he'd talk to a group of people i was in he'd look at me and we'd make direct eye contact before he'd say anything to the group or anything..





    3. And he stared at me half the night. My friend said she looked at him a few times and caught him staring at me..





    4. One time I looked up and he was staring at me while he was talking to this girl he used to REALLY like and then when I caught him he looked away.





    5. He had a myspace and then I deleted mine about a week ago and within the same week he deleted his. Could this be anything? If so, what?I really need some advice.. what do you think?
    I have the same problem with telling if guys like me :S they are so confusing! haha- so stop over observing, and just go with the flow. If something happens and he does end up liking you- yay. But if he doesnt; just remember that its not the end of the world :) Goodluck!





    But it does sound like he is into you- maybe he's unsure and doesnt want to act on his feelings cos he doesnt want to ruine your friendship? Just keep talking to him and be yourself :D
  • eye blush
  • Confused, heart broken, need advice bad can you help?

    I am 21 years old with a 2 1/2 year old son. I am not with my sons father, i have been dating this guy for a little over a year now and i have not been happy for sometime now so i met this guy at work ( hes a cop) but he is married with a child. He is also not happy with his wife and wants to leave but its hard with his son. We both really really like each other alot i mean alot and he wants to leave his wife he just dont know when. I dont know what to do all day everyday all i think about is him he is everything i want in a guy. Do i just let it go and move on or wait? please help i need adviceConfused, heart broken, need advice bad can you help?
    I don't think you really want a guy who is willing to cheat on his wife. Don't wait around for him. Find someone else and tell your boyfriend it's over. Just consider your son when you are looking for a new guy. I'm not saying you're one of them, but so many young single moms pick losers.Confused, heart broken, need advice bad can you help?
    leave it alone.please donttt be a homewrecker!! they have a family!! stop being so selfish, ever think how she would feel? find ur own man,
    Move on... it's never in anyone's best interest to be involved with someone who is NOT available on all levels. Always, put yourself in someone elses shoes before you make a decision that will alter many lives for the rest of their lives.





    You know in your heart what you are doing is wrong, or you wouldn't be asking this question. Do the right thing for yourself %26amp; everyone else %26amp; leave this man alone. He truly loves the thrill of the affair, not you. You deserve better than this!
    Sitting in the darkness waiting for someone to bring you happiness, is no way to live.


    Get out there and continue to search for it yourself.


    If the road leads you to him than it was meant to be.


    Good Luck. :)
    If Your not with your sons father, your not happy with your year long boyfriend, and are now messing with a married cop, you must be very difficult to please. If the cop leaves his wife for you, sooner or later he will leave you for another squeeze and that's what I call Poetic Justice. But both of you appear to deserve each other. What a way to start a relationship.

    I really need some advice who can you help me?

    I once went out with this guy who was one year younger than me... We were perfect and he loved me so much and i liked him a lot too but i broke up with him because i didn't want him to hurt me... i realized that this was wrong now but then i didn't even see it





    So we continued that year being REALLY close friends, we are still really close like really close. He always flirts and compliments me my friends thinks he still loves me but im not so sure. He had a girlfriend but they broke up and when it happened he came right to me and he told me everything, about how he went out with her but it never felt right he was just waiting for this to happen. He told me i always knew what to say and there was honestly no one better in the entire world. Then we just kept getting closer and closer... but now he asked a girl out that he told me the night before that he didn't like. My friends are like he is trying to make you jealous, I still am not convinced... I really like him all i want to do is spend time with him.


    How do i get him back? Or what should my next step be?


    I need honest sincere answers i really need help...


    ThanksI really need some advice who can you help me?
    tell him you want to get back together with him. Its easier said than done. But you really like him...and its obvious that he still likes you. Cuz your freinds. Just try to take the guts to ask him if he wants to get back together.I really need some advice who can you help me?
    approach straightly.tell him your desire and if do not get any positive or green signal from him, then don't waste time because life is precious.

    Please give me some advice what would you do?

    i have a boyfriend , and he is amazing , he's sweet ,he does EVERYTHING for me ; and yeah i love him , buht theres one thing , i HATE his friends , one of his friends is my ex boyfriend ; and he has a girlfriend now , and my ex's gf used to wanna jump me and i have to like hangout with his friends like everyday ; and he doesn't want me hanging out w. my friends because i used to like one of them and he doesn't trust me cause i kissed that guy a couple of days ago and i think im starting to like him again %26amp; ; his friends i love them all ;their all very fun and outgoing kids and he is amazing too ' he's older also so he's more mature 'and now idk what to do , because this guy wants to fight my boyfriend now and i don't want this happening. all i hear 24/7 breakup w. your boyfriend he's a loser , go for this kid , and i cant take it anymore , what would you guys do? honestly.Please give me some advice what would you do?
    First off anyone who wants you to hang with his friends only and not your own, is not prince charming. No one in a real relationship wants to separate from your friends unless they, (your friends) or they (themselves) are toxic. So ask yourself which element in this equation is toxic? So which is it? Is this guy amazing or is he asking you to leave your old friends behind? How do you feel about this guy really? Hint; you just kissed another guy not too long ago. Hint 2; No trust means no real relationship! I think you know how you really feel about this and just need someone to validate your feelings. The truth is the only who ever needs to validate you is you. Look into your own heart. The answer is right there. Good luck and may things be as they should!Please give me some advice what would you do?
    Let the two guys fight! Whoever wins, gets you! ;]

    Can you give me some advice on how can i motivate myself to strive more in my studies inspite of bein insecurd

    study techniques..Can you give me some advice on how can i motivate myself to strive more in my studies inspite of bein insecurd
    What is your purpose for your studies? Has this been forgotten? maybe write your goals and remind yourself why this is important to you. Loosing momentum is simply becoming a little foggy with your goals. Remind yourself about how important your goals are to you. If they arnt any more that's OK too, maybe its time to create new ones?????

    I need some advice, what would you do?

    First off I don't need any rude, vile, prejudice answers and if that's all you have you will be reported! So I'm a guy, almost 24 and I need some advice. What would you do if you were/are a guy and you took numerous tests and surveys and quizzes (One of them being the COGIATI) from transsexual.org, answered with complete honesty and every time you finished the results came out as both ';You Are meant to be a Female'; and ';You are meant to be with men';. would you consider going through full gender reassignment surgery? Should I do this?I need some advice, what would you do?
    Diane is absolutely right I agree with her.I need some advice, what would you do?
    First of all, as everyone says here, DO NOT rely soley on this test. I took the COGIATI test too, when i was a bit more confused, and it told me I have a strong leaning toward transsexuality, but i decided it was not my path. You need to be in therapy with a good understanding expert in gender identity issues, and you also need to spend some time, a year or more, living as a woman before you even think of surgery. And besides, many transsexuals decide to live female but without the surgery, in other words taking hormones and maybe some cosmetic work but keeping their boy parts. Not as freakish as it sounds. Anyway, those tests are only a start. You obviously have an intense desire to see how it is to be a woman and be loved by men, you can experience this somewhat without drastic surgery. So first of all you really do need the guidance of a good therapist and maybe a support group.
    That's a major life altering course of action. I would tell you not to do anything without professional counseling. From what little knowledge I have on the subject, you are required to live as a woman for a year, while taking hormone therapy, before they would even consider gender reassignment. After that if that's what you want to do, go for it. Just remember it is your life and it really doesn't matter what the tests or surveys concluded. They are just fodder for psychoanalist. You have to be the one to decide what is right for you.





    And for all you haters out there, I'm not gay. I just don't care if this person is.
    You're considering going through gender reassignment because a quiz told you you're meant to be a woman?





    What would *I* do? I would follow my heart. Do you feel like you were meant to be a woman? Are you attracted to men? If you're seriously considering gender reassignment surgery, I would suggest connecting with a local support group or touching base with someone who may be able to offer some direct support.
    Good explanation of the COGIATI, Diane. It really is an irresponsible resource to even have online for reasons just like this.





    First, there is NO (repeat NO) test that can determine if you are a transsexual woman.





    Second, you do not need to decide to go through ';full gender reassignment surgery'; to explore your gender issues.





    Third, as Diane said, the fact that you are taking tests and asking questions shows you have questions about your gender, and therefore the most intelligent thing to do is see an expert - a GENDER THERAPIST.





    Nobody can tell you if you are suffering from transsexualism but you, and a gender therapist is the person who can help you to answer this question honestly.





    There is only once piece of personal advice I will offer. Do not wait. Every day that passes is a day you could regret losing if it turns out you are not living the life you should.
    With you all the way with the rude answers. I get pissed when I get a rude answer and usually end up fighting back.





    I would just do what feels right. I go by quizzes too online, and all end up the same result. When this happens to me, I usually believe it. But I wouldn't go through any drastic measures to change myself incase I regret something. So I would just do what's in your heart.
    firstly, u need to make some things clear to yourself. dont rely too heavily on the outcome of these tests,they even tell you that its not scientific or medically based. iv looked at them and i think if any guy who has a heart, common sense and a sense of right and wrong, would answer that, they'd get the same result as you. i made my cousin take that, and guess what? he got the result that he's both male and female.and he's definately male.


    so, instead of relying on this, examine yourself! and be honest to yourself, u may want to write it down, to make sense of all the conflicting emotions.


    if thats what u want..really want, then thats how it will be! and go ahead with your plans!





    good luck, and if u need someone to talk to, im here :)
    Are you crazy surgery just to change your gender. Dont belive in the stupid test it's not true. Why risk your life. You can die in the surgery n waste your money on it. If i were you trust me i woudlnt do it but is your choice if you belive in your self dont do it if you dont belive in your self i guess do what ever you want
    But a quiz can't tell you who you are or what you should do. If you agree with the results of that quiz maybe you should do that surgery or just like turn gay.





    If you don't agree with the results and just ignore it.
    How do you feel about the results? Don't just listen to what results tell you. Do what you feel is best. Do you believe you should be a female? Do you fantasize about men? Only you can choose what is best for you.
    well. i personally am gay.


    but i wouldnt go thru with the surgery if you dont want to.


    or if you dont feel its right.


    theirs more gay ppl then the lisp talking pink shirt wearing stereotype


    (no offence)


    just try being gay.
    do as you wish don't just do something koz the internet is saying it them tests are not true if you dont like been a boy do it but dint regret it later in life
    I agree with Diane 100%
    Wow, will regardless of what a test says it is what you feel inside. Do you like guys. or wish you were a girl?
    Diane and Erica are correct. Speak with a gender therapist.
    Hmm, well dont leave your life in the hands of a survey! Do what you think is right, and what you want. :)
    No not yet at least. I suggest u try first dating / sleeping with some girls for a while and see how you feel about that. Then take it from there
    No no no no way those people have that there as spam and so everyone who looks they get so much money for everyone who takes the quiz i would never change my body because a test tells you your gay
    You serous?? Don't believe anything you read on the internet.. Your old enough to make your own decisions.. But a decision like this will be permanent and you should really think hard about it!!!!
    I wouldn't take the advice from what paper says. People are far too complicated to be dissected by simple quizzes. Just follow your heart is all I can say.
    If it makes you happy, yea :)
    No you might regret it when you get old
    no
    no
    That's kind of drastic considering it's only an online survey. Don't do it unless you really want to.
    ...if you think you should, then yes. dont let online tests tell you what to do.
    If that's what you want..... yea, go for it. But consider the risk of infection and stuff like that
    if thats how you want to be and it makes you happy then sure.........but dont let quizzes rule your life
    Should you consider transition on the basis of your answers to the COGIATI test (or any other online test, for that matter)?





    NO, absolutely not.





    This test is not, and is not intended to be, a genuine diagnostic tool; read the disclaimer. It's not scientific; most of the questions are heavily weighted toward stereotypes, and it's very easy to see which answer you're expected to give.


    If you present yourself to a gender specialist and tell him that you're sure you're transsexual because the COGIATI says you are, he'll laugh you out of his office (believe me; I mentioned to mine that I had taken this test, and his response was, ';Why didn't you just ask an astrologer?';).





    I have several transsexual friends (oddly enough ;-) ) and we've discussed this test frequently; the common consensus is that it has (limited) value NOT for the results it gives, but because you feel the need to take it; i.e. if you weren't already questioning your gender identity, you wouldn't bother with it, whatever result you achieve.


    It's rather like tossing a coin to make a decision; once the coin is in the air, you suddenly realise which way you WANT it to fall, and that's the answer you wanted all along, but were too afraid to admit.





    What you ought to do is to closely and honestly examine your motives for taking this test; and, if you feel it's necessary, talk to a therapist with experience in gender issues. he or she will be able to help you decide who you really are, how to deal with that, and what, if anything, you need to do about it.


    If you don't know where to find such a therapist, you could start searching here;


    http://www.drbecky.com/therapists.html





    Hope this helps.
    Questions like this are always had for another person to answer because we havent been though the same life experiences as you have.





    My first question for you would be are you comfortable with who you are and i dont mean just not but for most of your life





    There are MANY times in EVERYONE'S life when they don't want to be themselves for a whole host or reasons





    Secondly i know this seems mean and most people wouldnt bring it up but what would your friends and family this of you if you went though with this.


    I only ask this question because many people need the love and support of there family and friends its human nature to want to be wanted to be accepted would you be able to live with yourself if you lost there respect and love having said that though would you be able to live with yourself if this is who you truly believe you are and dont act upon it.





    I guess i havent really helped you here have i :D


    but i thought i might outline a few things for you in case you hadent though of them





    I personally wouldnt know what to do if it where me im sorry


    i need my family and friends am i am the type of person that will sacrifice my own happiness just to keep them with me





    Eyes Only

    Good news and advice to all you girl ttc!?

    5th cycle ttc.. Just got my BFP!!!!! 1st cycle that I stopped charting and just went with the flow and had fun.. Stopped worrying about when I ovulated and all the other crap! Girls.. I suggest you do the same!! Just have fun with your hubbies! Now I am just trying to figure out how many days or weeks I am.. I'm 48 days into cycle and average for me is 37ish but I've tested every other day for the past week and just got that positive!Good news and advice to all you girl ttc!?
    exactly same happened to me.


    i just stopped charting and trying too hard.


    my partner and i were like lets just relax and let it happen. on my birthday i was like, i feel pregnant took a test and there it was 2 lines :):)
  • eye blush
  • Alright I need advice on what you think is going on my situation about this guy?

    So me %26amp; that guy I always brag about broke up. I've been keeping myself busy %26amp; it so happens that before I wasted 2 years of my life I had all guy friends basically. I started hanging out with them again. Last week Thursday some New guy rolled up at my friends house %26amp; I was tripping out because I knew him from a few years ago. He put his # in my phone %26amp; he would flirt w/me writing little messages %26amp; I was cool about it, didn't think nothng about it. We hung out Friday night, and we hung out saturday night w/his friend who lives w/him, we ended up going to their friends house %26amp; just chilled played kings cup. The thing is, the thing is this guy is weird %26amp; confuses the shet out of me. He called me alot of times Monday night my phone wa sin my car, I was going to leave my friend a comment %26amp; I see he commented him after he saw my comment earlier that day he wrote ';hey i got the house to myself we need some bitches over';. Really though? The next day I guess he wanted me to come over. We were at my friends house %26amp; he sent me a little message again saying he missed me %26amp; I said '; Lies '; He got super pissed %26amp; when we were leaving he's all I have a date tonight to his friend. His friends told me to not trip because he suffers from manic depression %26amp; has like 20 personalities. He's a little player though he's had sex with about 19 girls, %26amp; I told him im looking for commitment trust and someone to just chill with. I dont know he's so confusing. My friend Bj told me he's just so use to girls kissing his *** and i'm not about to do that shet. What do you think I should do?Alright I need advice on what you think is going on my situation about this guy?
    now look ur mind up do you like him or not ? this little player **** is just that ......DO YOU LIKE HIM OR NOT ? thats all that matters Alright I need advice on what you think is going on my situation about this guy?
    open your mind and go with the flow