Do you have any advice on being a good single mom? ?

My husband and I have had trouble for over 8 years. He left on Christmas day. Since then, I've been at home with our three children 11, 7, and 4. I have been, for the most part, a stay at home mother for eleven years.





I'm trying to find daycare, a job that provides health insurance, and more affordable housing. My spouse lost his job in July and hasn't found another so we will not be receiving financial support from him for awhile.





Yes, I know you will ask, I did contact my attorney.





I'm a little scared. I'm wondering if anyone has any ideas as to what I can do to make the transition easier? Are there groups for single parents? Do you have hints that will make things much easier?





He called last night and wants to return home. I'm not so sure that is a good idea but am so afraid of being a single mother that I'm tempted to bring him home for the sake of the children.





Perhaps if I can see that it is possible to be a good single mother, I will be less likely I will be to go back to the former situation.





Any advice?





Thank you in advance.Do you have any advice on being a good single mom? ?
I am 19 years old and pregnant due in 17 days.


My mom was a single parents for part time raising twins. (My sister and I.) She met a man when we were around 2 years old and when we turned 4 she got married. Shortly after she had another daughter (my little sister.) I say she was pretty much a single mom because he was an alcoholic and didn't really help with the family except for working which wasn't all that either. My mom took care of my sisters and I while working and going to school. She had help from my grandparents (her parents). When I was 17 she was going through a separation and planning on getting a divorce. My twin sister and I graduated high school in '07 and are now in college. My mom was depressed for awhile after she had a near death experience but after her separation she regained her life back. She went back to school and was looking for a job. (During her depression she didn't work but my grandparents helped out along with her ex husband.) Sadly my mom passed away but I considered my mom a single parent and she took care of my sisters and I. The best thing would not to go back to him just because you feel bad or are scared, it might make the situation for the children worse. Just be strong, women are a lot stronger then men that's why we are the ones that are able to have children because we can take care of them. As long as you know you are doing what is best for your children then there is nothing else that really matters. If you want to talk more you can email me. Sorry I know it's long.Do you have any advice on being a good single mom? ?
I wish I knew of some groups to recommend, but I know they are out there. If you get a community section in your local newspaper, they might list them there. Or, you can contact local social services and they may know of some resources for you.





The thing is, this is the hardest job in the world. The hours are long and the pay is terrible. The only pay you get at the end of the day is getting to kiss your sleeping child(ren) and knowing you are doing what is best for them.





So, I recommend that you make sure, and I mean 100% sure, that if you are the one pursuing the divorce, it is for the children and not for yourself. I hate to say it, but single mothers are the least attractive people on the face of the planet. And I'm not talking about sex--they'll use you for that.





Edit: I didn't mean this to come out as negative as it did. There is much to be said for peace of mind, and I wouldn't trade it for anything. But money? It will always be hard, and men? I have a hard time taking any crap from a man when I didn't take it from my son's father. Know what I'm sayin'?
do whatever u feel like, if u just cant bear him then dont go back to him. if you do that then he thinks that u are in need of him and will take an advantage of u. if u think u still love him and cant stay with out him (not for kids etc) then u can plan for good. or else since u need financial support from him wether u stay or not with him its his responsibility legally also father need to bear expenses for children
Keep your children first because in the end they are the most important ppl.





I would never stay with a man I was not in love with in a marriage there was no hope in salvaging ';just for the kids';. If there is any hostility or drama between the parents, the kids are going to feel it, so it wouldn't be to any ones benefit.





I'm sure there are groups in your area...try searching online. If not in your area, places like cafemom.com can be of great support.





With all the broken marriages and relationships in this world, as a single mom, it really isn't hard to find a man..don't believe that crap.
It is definitely scary being a single mom, especially when you've been a stay at home mom. However, don't let fear be your deciding factor. Look at it as if you have no choice but to do the best that you can. It is hard. You will deal with guilty feelings, that is all natural. There are many organizations out there for support, financially and emotionally, seek them out. As far as letting him back, he is not working himself, what help is he going to contribute (other than maybe caring for the children if that....Sorry for the sarcasm) I also understand ';for the sake of the children'; it's a hard call but it's yours. Just know that there is help out there. You will be surprised how strong we can be when we have to be!