I am wondering if any of you have advice / recommendations for becoming a happier person overall.?

I am a divorced mama of 2 little boys (I am in my early 30s) and have been in a relationship with a wonderful man for just about a year... He is moving in this month, so obv things are going well- however, after testing the waters I realize he really is in no hurry to marry me, and seems to really have some trepidation regarding such a commitment after being burned his prior relationship. He is slightly younger than me- and has never lived with anyone he has been involved with, is still learning to adapt to life with my children, etc.. Anyway- I am somewhat hurt that he has such reservations about me, and wonder if this will be one of these long time live in / common law situations- which I know deep down will not be what I want or need. I plan to give him the time he needs, I love him tremendously. I do have a lot of internal monologue going on however, with so much- the relationship and where it is heading , typical split custody mom-guilt, general discomfort adjusting to life with so much more free time (and a recent transplant, so no friends locally to speak of). To all of you who have adjusted to life with more time with yourself, and general divorce malaise, how did you find peace and better your self-esteem? I find myself constantly doubting that he cares for me (which is completely unwarrented) and that I am worthy of the love I so want in my lifetime- I don't say much about it to him, but it makes me cranky or depressed, which in turn makes him doubt on his end-- it's a lovely vicious cycle that I am frankly tired of- I just want to be a happy person. Period.I am wondering if any of you have advice / recommendations for becoming a happier person overall.?
there is a new field i think its called positive psychology that you might check . the teacher of the course its something like tal ben shahar wrote a book called happier . he even did a recent program that was shown on pbs. i would highly recommend watching it an reading the book. he talked about meditating , gratitiude journals an exercise as some ways to improve mood.I am wondering if any of you have advice / recommendations for becoming a happier person overall.?
';I don't say much about it to him';





there's your answer. In psychology 1101 in college one of the most memorable things I learned was that communication is the #1 thing in a relationship. You have to open up to your loved one like you are writing in a diary. If he is not used to it, have such talks slowly at first, but he will eventually see the real person you are when he has true access to your most important thoughts. Probably the best place for you to learn about such communication is to find a good book about it. Audio books are great for busy moms. Compare some by reading reviews of them online. Educate yourself about relationships. It doesn't come naturally unless you grew up in the most perfect environment which isn't the case for most people. You have the potential to have a happy relationship : )
I personally think that you need to NOT HAVE THIS GUY MOVE IN!!!!!!!!!!!! You need to think of your children's happiness first.


I am the product of a divorced home ( my parents divorced when I was in the 4 th grade). Kids need time with their mom and not with mom and boyfriend.


I know that you are young and lonely, but the children will only have one childhood. Having a boyfriend live with you and them - to me - is not really good.


As far as peace and self esteem, go back to school, learn a trade, do things that you like and have an interest in. You can volunteer at your children's school.


You have to figure out what makes you happy and stick with that.


To me this guy is not the marrying kind because ';WHY SHOULD HE BUY THE COW IF HE IS GETTING THE MILK FOR FREE?????????????'; In other words, he is getting in your pants, but doesn't have all of the responsibilities of marriage. Easy for him - not you!!!!!!!!!!!!! NO COMMITTMENT INVOLVED ON HIS PART!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You need to work at changing and abandoning your negative self talk#1


You need to recognize your value %26amp; worth - all of us deserve to be loved %26amp; respected and be happy.


Remind yourself Happiness is a JOURNEY it is NOT A destination. Find JOY IN THE JOURNEY each day - each minute, each situation can find something of worth to offer you and recognize.


Don't put your life or your happiness on HOLD for any man. Do things FOR YOU, do what makes YOU HAPPY, demand what brings you joy, peace %26amp; happiness in life regardless of what HE or anyone else might do.


Be yourself, be sincere, be true, be confident.





Look up the poem on-line called ';Desiderate'; - great message of inspiration and joy!





My best advise would include finding peace %26amp; joy and personal worth in a relationship with your Heavenly Father too - HE knows and loves you more perfectly than any HUMAN ever can or will. He never leaves you - He is always there, always sure, true %26amp; supportive.





Life throws us ALL curve balls - you just gotta forge on in faith, hope %26amp; determination because tomorrow can and will be better and from a spiritual standpoint I believe firmly ';He never said it would be easy - only that it would be worth it'; keep an eternal perspective on all things whenever possible.
wow. Not to be cruel, but you should have tried harder to be happy before the divorce. People are happier when they are thinking about others and not dwelling on their own problems, which means that a family is a nice center of concern. Statistically, if you remarry you are likely to divorce again. Why should this new guy care about your boys? It's hard enough to get real dads to spend time with their kids. Your story is way too familiar, with no great solution.


I hope you had really good reasons for the divorce. I know way too many families who break up for silly reasons, including my brother, and I am angry at people who don't try to make it work. All I can offer is sympathy.
Know that God can help you live a better life if you want Him to help you. You can have a personal relationship with God by saying the prayer below. God is our Creator, all-knowing, all-powerful, eternal, holy, love. God loves us and sent us His Son, Jesus Christ, so we can go to heaven if we know and follow Him. Forever means without end -- time on and on without death. Forever is what happens after we die. Either we go to heaven and be with God forever, or we go to hell which is very bad and painful forever. The good people who are saved believers in Jesus Christ go to heaven. The bad people go to hell. We need to know and follow God in this world to get to heaven in the next world. We follow God by loving and obeying Him and loving others for Him. Jesus Christ, God's Son, is our bridge to God. Jesus died on the cross to cancel our sins. We need to accept Jesus into our life as our Lord and Savior forever to receive God's blessing and forgiveness plus go to heaven to be with God forever after we die. This is about being a born-again Christian. Faith in God is a gift from God. You can pray for faith in God. Just speak out and ask God for the faith to believe in Him and to follow Him. Some people find faith in God when they realize the beauty in the world is made by God. Evolution can't explain the world's natural beauty, for example, the parks in the world, animals, flowers, peacocks, sunsets, butterflies, rainbows, etc. After you have your faith on, you can pray a sinner's prayer to be a born-again Christian. This prayer is very important and should be said with a sincere heart and faith in God. This is the prayer: ';Dear God, I know that I am a sinner and that Jesus Christ is the sacrifice for our sins. I have done the following sins (state these out) and I pray to discontinue these sins. I pray to receive Jesus Christ into my life as my Lord and Savior forever. In Jesus' name, amen.'; I'm Lutheran and I like the Baptist churches too. You could check out a Christian church and also see about their weekly Bible study group as a good way to learn about God's will for your life. You can pray to God about your daily life and have a Christian church pray for you.